Since September
Posted on November 8, 2011
Re-cap of my last month:
My grandmother who’s always lived next door to my parents was about to return after breaking her hip. My Aunt and Uncle decided she should move in with my Aunt even though my dad disagreed. My father eats breakfast with her, she’s over at my parents house every day, and he takes her to the farm and gets her out and about. I’m not sure what to think of her being 20 miles away from where she’s lived all of my life. I heard there was family that never comes around going through her house and things which just makes me sick.
My dad has some test results come back positive for colon cancer. My sister told me only because my Grandmother spilled the beans. Apparently he didn’t want us to know and he doesn’t want to seek treatment. I’m really not sure what to think of this.
One of my three best friends from high school committed suicide. He left behind a daughter in grade school and his eldest son just had his first child days later. He used to post photos of his kids and talk about them on Facebook all of the time.
My ex-wife announced she was getting married. I’m still not sure why this makes me feel so numb. My friend that told me had no idea that I didn’t know.
I had to let go of someone that loves me and whom I love. I still can’t get my hands around this one or why it bothers me so much. I can’t rationally not have an opinion so I’m leaving it alone.
My lack of concentration and depression hit me about a month ago and I’m slowly trying to dig myself back out of it. Sometimes when I can’t reach out to people that I care for, it’s the bigger sign that I really need someone to pull me back in. I hope someday I’ll meet someone that understands this. For now, most people just assume I’m ignoring them.
One of my best friends falling ill and being in the hospital for three weeks and then two weeks due to complications from a blood disease and then an illness picked up in the hospital.
I’m trying a few news ways to cope and deal with things out of my control. I’m not quite a week in but I can sleep and eat again. It kind of becomes a day-by-day from here on.
I think I’m do for another break again.
